So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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