This girl is more easily done than said...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
