we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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