I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
