Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
