i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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