Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
