Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
