About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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