Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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