bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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