someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
