He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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