He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
