You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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