we have pet lesbian snakes
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
