plz talk dirty to me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
