I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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