How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
