I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
