so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
