My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
