Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
