Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
