worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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