dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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