I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
