well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am available for nakedness
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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