I'm really into asian looking animals
I am spending my child support on dildos
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
