we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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