the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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