I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't turn off my feet"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
