super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
