this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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