Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
