So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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