Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
