i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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