I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
