I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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