So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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