new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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