It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
