i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
