I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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