Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
