you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
