1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
