Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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