Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
