she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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